Of oppositions, atheism, agraharams and atyachar

A guide to Tamil Nadu politics

Udal mannukku, uyir Tamizhukku(the body is for the soil and life is for Tamil). These were the words which brought Annadurai’s Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam to power in the 1960′s.  So great was the margin of their victory that the congress was literally driven out. This was at a time when the rest of the country wasn’t aware that parties other than the Congress even existed.

Tamil politics are, without any exaggeration, the most contradictary, confusing, and weird in the nation. First off, it’s been over four decades since a national party came to power in this Dravidian state. It’s people are cut-off from the national mainstream and want to be disassociated from the rest of the nation.

Talk to an average Tamilian and he will say “I am a Tamilian first and an Indian second. The Tamil interest is of much greater consequence to me than that of the nation.” And this is clearly seen from the fact that it’s denizens overtly support the man who was responsible for the assassination of our former Prime Minister. Tamil pride is way more important to them than national pride is.

Before you start judging the people, please think about the reasons for their behaving in such a way. Tamils are pretty much ridiculed and hated in most of north India. This post does not support either side, but merely tries to analyse the cause and consequence of the emotions which run high in our country. Most Tamilians feel the centre has been unjust to their state ever since it’s formation, which is why the anti- Hindi movement was such a huge success in the 1960′s.

Most people who visit from the north are disgusted by their adamance to not speak Hindi even if they know it, but the reason, contrary to popular belief, is not just because Karunanidhi encouraged it. Rather, MooKa encouraged it because of the public’s obstinacy.

Further, hardly anyone spoke Hindi in Tamil Nadu throughout. After Hindi was made the national language, all milestones and roadsigns were written solely in Hindi and English. Apart from the fact that they wanted it written in ther own language, it’s also true that a not so well educated guy’s vocabulary in the national language is limited to “arey bai acha acha.” Protests to get it written in Tamil as well did not yield the Congress government led by Rajaji, who even made it a compulsary language in schools. At the same time, Dravidar Kazhagam, a social service organization, spawned the Dravidar Munnetra Kazhagam- it’s political faction. These guys started the agitation, and the rest is history.

In any part of the country, it is a big thing for a Dalit to win an election anywhere except a reserved constituency. Here, on the other hand, a Dalit candidate is a norm. A forward class candidate’s win is the equivalent of a Dalit winning in another state.

The state of Indian politics at the moment:

The Congress has allied with the DMK. Another comical case of desperation overruling ideological differences. The congress is mainstream while DMK is anti-national. The Congress wants Prabhakaran dead for killing it’s leader and doesn’t mind killing a few insignificant civilians during it’s course. It therefore, supplies weapons to the Sri Lankan government. The DMK leader on the other hand calls Prabhakaran his “friend” and says he wants the LTTE to survive and fight.

End result: weapons are provided from the centre to SriLanka and the state starts an agitation against Sri Lanka using those weapons, provided by their allies. But the Congress and DMK are chaddi buddies

That’s a merger of difference in ideologies. On the other hand, let’s compare the two biggest parties in the state.

The DMK and AIADMK don’t have an iota of difference in ideology and are sworn enemies.

DMK was started by the champion of Kanchipuram- C.N. Annadurai. The AIADMK was started by MGR in memory of Annadurai to implement his ideology.

Dialogue from the movie Iruvar(translated) to best describe the difference in these two parties: “Our ideals are one, but our fortresses are different.”

Let us examine some more contradictions in my home state:

In the land of Iyers, Iyengars, Agraharams, Ayyanars, and Andal, the biggest atheism movement in this part of the world grew. Notorious for their idol breaking and blasphemy(which runs till date), the then Congress chief minister Rajaji of the Madras province, had no choice but send off his deity Balaji of Thirupathi to neighbouring Andhra when the states were formed. In exchange, Tamil Nadu got industrialised Madras, the southern port of the Brits. I digress, but that’s why Madras Tamil has Telugu and Urdu words sparsely peppered in it. e.g: jobi, Kosam, kastam, Nizam, Inam etc.

Looking at it even more microscopically, you’ll find that each district is a microcosm to this contradiction. DMK is the party which has a problem with god and religion and indulges in blasphemy. AIADMK only arrests religious heads and brings in conversion laws. The most religious of places in Tamil Nadu(Hindu) are Kanchipuram and Madurai. They are extremely religious and support the atheists with a vengeance. Thirunelveli, on the other hand, has a Christian majority, and that’s a stronghold of the AIADMK, the party which brought anti-conversion laws to the state.

Karunanidhi is a staunch atheist in the open. He asked “who is this Ram? Which engineering college did he graduate from?” when religious heads opposed the Sethusamudram project because it involved the breaking of a bridge, believed to be built by lord Ram. But it is rumoured that he visits the temple in his street at 2 in the morning to apologise for his blasphemy. Also he wears a yellow shawl, which people say is associated with religion. He is against all languages except Tamil, yet his TV channel has an English news programme.

Jayalalithaa is a very strong willed person, but not a very adept politician. During MooKa’s rule, rowdyism is given a free hand, and police powers are very limited. During her rule though, they come down on miscreants with an iron hand. She believes in numerology and is a devotee of Sri Sri Ravishankar, yet she arrested the Sankaracharya when he was suspected for murder, that is something not many politicians would be willing to try for fear of losing the Hindu majority vote bank.

She also proved that she is not for or against any religion by bringing in conversion laws at the same time. To curb the conversions to christianity through force and money, she brought in some guidelines which missionaries have to follow while carrying out conversions. This bill was soon removed because the missionaries went on a hunger strike in Velankanni and Bishops appealed to the entire Christian community to vote against her. This was again a very bold move on her part, because Christians too, are a large chunk of the population in southern TN.

The reasons for Jayalalithaa losing the 2006 elections were mainly because she fired over 7000 state government employees for staging a protest, the conversion laws, the Acharya arrest, and the Vijaykanth factor. Quite a few people who traditionally voted for her, voted for Captain. As a result of this, Captain won a lone seat in the assembly elections but got his deposit back in most constituencies. The DMK vote remained intact on the other hand. This way, the DMK gained a majority, not because of its own credibility, but because the entry of Captain into politics got Amma to lose.

I’ll end my post this time not with a poll analysis but my opinion of the two parties, and why I support one of them.

The DMK harasses the public in the name of law enforcement. MooKa changed the date of the Tamil new year. The month Chitrai is like January in the Tamil calender. He changed Thai to the first month of the year. That’s equivalent to changing new year from January to October. The only thing I can fathom from this is that he is old and will soon kick the bucket, and wants to do something to prove his might like Augustus Caesar, who tried to make August the most important month of the year.

Not only did he change the date, he also passed an oral order saying the traditional reading of the Tamil calender in temples on new year’s day must be stopped. He, as an atheist, has no reason or right to stop a community from celebrating a festival. It goes against democracy.

Also, he has increased reservation percentage to 77% in the state(as far as I remember), when the constitution clearly mentions that a figure over 50% is not permitted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against reservation for the oppressed communities, but you don’t make the general quota to be lesser than the reserved. The forward communities are not intelligent or privileged enough to get admitted into colleges with 23% seats.

Jayalalithaa has her own flaws. She comes down too strong on issues she believes strongly against, without pausing to think about why it was caused and what effect her actions will have. But at the same time, she is fair and just. More so, she is a woman who has stood up against MooKa, who vanquished all his foes by force on his way up the ladder. Standing up to him is no small feat, even more so for a woman.

Last but not the least, she is extremely well educated, intelligent, and talented. She has an entire library of books, each and every one of which she has read. She has prowess in nine languages, and has much more experience in dealing with issues. For reasons wrong or right, I feel the educated are much better informed and can handle situations in a much more comprehensive manner.

Whether Amma is going to win this time or not is a different issue, but my support she definitely has, and I urge my fellow Tamils to follow suit.

The Swiss, the swindler, and the stupid

We all know that one of the BJP’s points in the election manifesto is to bring back the approximate amount of Rs. 25 lakh crore stashed away is tax havens abroad, particularly Switzerland. The Congress response to this was that they are doing the “requisite” to bring this money back and doesn’t need lessons from the BJP. The media response to this was to laugh and speculate in jest.

Hardcore supporters of the Congress even question as to why the BJP didn’t do it’s part to bring this money back when in power. Since NaMo* or LalAd** have not been instrumental in giving their reply so far, I shall do my part in giving a(largely) neutral account of this.

The attention span and memory of the public is shortening at an alarming pace, and the media, as usual, conveniently forgets, the real reason why this point was brought out by the NDA.

Let’s get to the heart of the matter. Switzerland has certain tax laws which enable citizens of other countries to open numbered accounts in their banks. These banks have security measures which make Fort Knox go green with envy. They won’t reveal the identities of these account holders even at gun point.

As a result, you have the rich from all over the world making trips to the Alps every year to stash away some of their “hard earned” money. Recent information reveals that it’s the heads of state of the poorest countries in Africa who hold the largest accounts. They aren’t able to enjoy the money themselves as they are under the public eye at all times, nor do they let the country use what’s rightfully theirs.

Back to our story. The Swiss goons usually never reveal the identities of their clients, because their laws protect them. But what happened last year was, the head honcho of the guys who speak the “high” form of their(the Swiss) language(for the Deutsch illiterate, the Germans), pressurized the Swiss govt. to release the names of the Germans holding accounts in some particular banks.

Needless to say, they obliged, and in that list, the Germans found the names of about 300-400 Indians as well, along with citizens of other countries. As they had no use for these, they sent word to each of these countries. When India received this information last year, it came under the jurisdiction of the then finance minister- P. Chidambaram. He was told that the information would be given, but they need to ask for it in writing as a formality. He in turn gave them a request which a only a man trained in Harvard can:

“Give us the list of all the income tax payees from India holding numbered accounts in Switzerland.” Now I’m assuming my dear readers have something in their craniums/crania, and thus I ask you all to think;

how is the German government supposed to know/ infer who in that list is an income tax payee of India and who isn’t?

And so that list remained in a shelf in Deutschland and is gathering dust till date. And the UPA claims they are doing the “needful” to obtain that money. Wow. No prizes for guessing why PC did such a thing.

THAT is why the NDA couldn’t do this during their own time.

Update: Swiss bank rules were relaxed only in 2006-07 under pressure from USA, UK, and various countries in Europe including Germany. Before that they were rock-solid. Remember Bofors anyone?

And as for the members of the press poking fun at Advani for bringing this point to the fore; please read the article titled”Swiss ask US to drop tax evasion case” in the Indian Express-27/4/2009. The summary of the article is that UBS, a bank in Switzerland, has agreed to pay the American government a penalty of $ 780 million, and also reveal the identities of 300 of it’s American clients to avoid legal trouble, but Obama has refused and the case continues. The reasons for the US and India pursuing this is the same- recession. This money can save us from all our troubles.

Article titled “NaMo rules Nanoland” in “The Week” calls this statement of a 55 year old security guard in Gujarat “Times have changed and there is recession. We need this money now” blind faith towards Modi. But I feel that’s very mature coming from someone of his stature in society, and I agree. I’m not blind to the sins of Modi either.

These banks are estimated to have in totality around $ 11 trillion, that’s 11*10^ 12. For those who think in Rupees, it’s Rs. 5.5*10^14 or Rs. 550 trillion in today’s exchange rates. Of this, the Indian amount is estimated at Rs. 25 lakh crores. That’s 13 times larger than our foreign debt! The interest generated by this itself will be larger than our budget. This amount can not only save India from the recession but also eradicate poverty and get our GDP up by more than 50% (this is when I get dreamy and assume that a social evil called corruption does not exist).

Coming to the Advani bashing(you thought I was lying weren’t you), Chidambaram said the right thing when he said LalAd was unwittingly warning the guys who actually have accounts up there, and they can easily make arrangements to transfer their money elsewhere. Assuming the BJP does come to power, it will take a while before they can actually get through the bureaucracy and start letting the money flow in. By the time you get to the banks, the money would have vanished. A job like this has to be conducted in absolute secrecy, with even the second and third level politicians not catching a whiff of what’s going on, and the media being kept as far away as Yasser Arafat from a Barmitsvah. And if that’s done, the human rights activists and fans of “democracy” will cry foul.

Secondly, getting it back is by no means a simple job. For one, Switzerland in not the only country which is a tax haven, it is just the most well known. Various other countries in South America and islands around it, Mauritius and the Cherman islands also have such provisions. It is just not possible to tackle each and every one of them.

And third, supposing you do manage to get your hands on the account, it’s contents, and the name of the person who holds it, you will not find anyone willing to own up to the account. The reason is this:

If you have an account containing 50 crores worth of cash, not only will the government seize that money, but also charge you with a penalty for that amount. So you’d be better off losing the account alone.

Due to all the other factors mentioned, this cannot be implemented by the NDA and will not be implemented by the UPA even if they could.

In the end, you’re still going to have the ameer baap ka bigada bachcha(spoilt son of a rich dad) who’ll squander his inheritance just to change the colour of black money, and you can do nothing to stop him, so there. I said it before and I’ll say it again- corruption can be removed(or tackled very effectively) only in movies like Sivaji.

* NaMo: Narendra Modi

** LalAd: Lal Krishna Advani/ Lalchand Kishenchand Advani

Sorry I’m a thambi at heart. Every politician has to have a name like “MooKa.” It’s fun

Other such names- anyone who can guess who all of them are wins a free trip to where ever you are right now

SoGa, LaPiYa, MuSi, RaGa, JaJa, ChaBaNa, SuSwa, RaSi, DeGo, BooBha, MaSi, NiKu, VaRa(ha), (ma)RaTha, ViDesh.

Don’t aske me who they are. I might forget the acronyms myself in a while.

Mayawati and her party BJP

Hai I am an uber cool guy who started following the elections last week and boy am I excited. In my family, the people who are least interested in politics are my brother. I told him to start following but he say he want to study for entrance exam. He doesn’t care about our country waste fellow.

I am a student of Chemical engineering third year in aniramzee’s college. I don’t like wasting my time watching sitcoms and youtube videos. I want to be busy always. So I joined a web-designing class last month. I also joined an off-roader building class this semester conducted by the mechanical department. That is how I know Anirudh.  My classmates told me I was fool to join but I told them I want exposure in all branches of engineering before I graduate. So what if I don’t have any projects related to Chemical on my resume? I’m learning that only in college na why waste time learning more about it outside?

I don’t understand any of what they teach in that class yaar, so I keep asking Anirudh questions in the middle. He said he also doesn’t understand but how can that be? He’s in mechanical na. He should know.

Today in class Anirudh was very quiet. Because I am interested in politics, I thought I would talk to him also. Maybe he also is interested in developing the country.

I am a very big fan of Mayawati and her party BJP. Anirudh told me her party is BSP but how can that be? I saw her right hand man on TV last week. He is a very good guy. I liked his speech. He told they are all just like the common people. They go to the villages and talk to the public, they partake food with them and drink water from their wells. Stupid Anirudh said that will make them stay hungry for a whole day but what does he know, he didn’t sawed that speech na. Uttar Pradesh has developed like mad after BJP came to power. Everyone is happy and has electricity.

Initially even I thought he was faking, but I could see he had something in him. He spoke from his heart. I thought I will vote for the elephant only this time in Bombay. Then I came to know from Anirudh that BJP is there only in Uttar Pradesh. So only I have decided not to vote for them. Now I have to look for another party to vote for. But I don’t think anyone can be as good as Mayawati.

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Sigh…you do have these cases everywhere don’t you.

BTW, I’m not exaggerating one bit. All characters in this post are purely original. Resemblance to certain persons alive but should be dead do exist and is not coincidental.

Update: A friend in my hostel didn’t find anything wrong with his thinking BJP was under Mayawati. He said it’s his “opinion.” Another product of Manipal University.

Yet another…yawn…election post

These elections are by far the most boring I’ve seen.There are way too many choices is the main problem.The fun lies in being able to pick one bad guy and swear at him for two months, and swear at him more if he wins the polls.With these many choices, its no fun swearing at everyone other than your favoured party.The two party system rocked!

It’s like the difference between test matches and T20.And no one person is going to win the election by himself.Coalition parties are…zzzz.Read the opinion polls of any state and instead of rejoicing or tearing the magazine apart, you feel like tearing your head apart.Politics should become something more commercial (I mean in a more entrepreneurial way).

The highlights of this election were the shoe throwing incidents.Chiranjeevi,Captain,the fourth front and the other losers out there,I’m ashamed of you all.You just removed the fun out of sofa  speculations

The shoe thrower

First it was Bush from burgerland,then Chidhu from Chettiyar land,and latest was Navin Jindal from err…Jindaland (yeah lame I know). But that gets you thinking, with so many cases of shoe throwing, it’s becoming a new form of grabbing attention in a crowd, just like sticking your middle finger out in a pic, farting in public,or pulling a girl’s plaits in class four.

Here’s whats funny about Jindal’s story(courtesy IE online):
“The shoe, thrown by 62-year-old Rajmal Singh Saharan, who retired as the Principal of a Government School in Babain village, missed the target and hit a party activist sitting next to Jindal on the dais at the Kurukshetra District Congress Bhawan.

Before Jindal could react, the local MLA Ramesh Gupta picked up the shoe and threw it in the direction it had come from. However, the shoe once again missed the target and hit another Congress worker.”

Hilarious!Classis case of you blind me and I blind your brother If it had continued,the entire congregation would’ve been booted and primary target(Jindal) would’ve still remained unscathed.

The sad part is none of the bureaucrats are getting a taste of the soil.I’m currently writing letters to Asian college of journalism,Symbiosis,Bhawan’s, Delhi Univ and a few other reputed institutions of journalism to make shoe target practice a mandatory subject in their curriculum.