The Hindu bashing

THE HINDU BASHING

No, It’s not the religion I have a problem with.It’s the paper(as always).

N.Ram and his army of pricks seem to support the perpetrators of every issue in the world.Forget the fact that he supports a political party openly.Forget the fact that he walks in drunk to schools when he’s asked to preside over their functions.Forget the fact that you see anti-Hindu articles written all over his papers even though his paper is named…you know what I mean.All that is trivial when you look at the big picture.

The thing is, he’s actually SUPPORTING China over the Tibet issue! How much more can a man’s judgement get screwed? Tibet is a theocracy which was ruled by the Dalai Lama.Close to 60 years they have endured the Chinese with no way of self defense,because they have no military or air force.All they have is their culture and religion, and all they wish to do is to be themselves, and be left in peace.

When the US invaded Vietnam, they might have committed genocide but they didn’t rip away their culture. Here, Tibetan(the language) was banned,celibate monks were made to fornicate in the middle of streets,and all forms of Buddhism was abolished and had to be carried out in secrecy.

Yet, N.Ram says Tibet has “developed” and the people have been given freedom.Why?Because the “one family-one child” policy does not hold good in this lightly populated expanse, and it has a namesake autonomous rule, when all along it is being choked by the military.

Apart from the Tibet issue, they also support Palestine.This might not seem entirely wrong but they do it in the way only they can-highly biased articles where they conveniently forget to mention the wrongs on Palestine’s side.

They seem to forget Israel attacks Palestine out of provocation.They didn’t go on a rampage like China did.

And lastly,the Srilanka issue.In this case,being a Tamilian, I will obviously be blinded by emotion and take a side.But here are some facts:

1.Rajapakse still says they are ready to accept the Tamils only as subordinates and not as equals.

2.Tamil women are either being brainwashed or forced to abort by the govt. citing it as “an unsafe period for having kids.” Why don’t they provide safety for these women alone then?

Again, unlike Tibet, it’s not like the Tamils don’t have any wrongs on their side.The LTTE lost it’s ideals a long time back, and they too, have a lot of atrocities to their name.

But as an editor, he has a social responsibility, and if he doesn’t realise that, he needs to be removed from his respectable position and made to live a life like the Monks in Tibet, always in fear of what the Chinese might do.And yes,he should be forced to live a celibate life too.

Check this out for much better writing on the same issue.

Any virgins around?

I’m tired of people from the rest of the country telling me “Chennai is a city where time has stopped”, or is the city which refuses to evolve. I know it myself, it’s a conservative city. It’s the only major city where you’ll find girls wearing “bindhi”(the red dot on the forehead) when dressed in jeans and tees. It’s also the only place where millionaires and beggars(ok slumdogs) dress alike(the beggar looks the same in all cities, so you know who the insult is aimed at). Here, people don’t earn money to spend, they earn it to save it for their daughter’s wedding, son’s education, and building a house. In the end, none of these events are fulfilled, and the dude passes away leaving his life savings of Rs.10,000 for his 5 children to share.

But something I heard recently made me start looking at my city from a new angle. Here’s why;

As any regular TOIlet* paper reader would know, every June, a sex survey is conducted by them mongrels in all the metros. My jaw dropped when I  heard the statistics, which I checked out but aren’t one hundred percent accurate as I’m rattling them off through memory. If any of these are wrong, please say so in the comments section and I definitely will not correct them

Detour: If anyone is interested in knowing why I hate TOIlet paper so much, they can read this

Survey conducted among males and females of the age group 18-25

City                 Male virgins (%)                             Female virgins(%)

Delhi                          17                                                  24

Bombay                    15                                                  25

Bangalore                28                                                 32

Chennai                 18                                                45

Jaw dropped yet? Yeah it did for me too. Where the hell are those guys in my city getting laid?! I thought I was one among many, but being part of that 18 is just plain insulting !

Anyway, the reason why I’m swallowing my pride and writing this is because I was wondering why there is such a disparity between the men and women in Chennai alone, when in all other places it more or less balances out. I’ll tell you why;

1. Guys there may act docile but they’re criminals underneath.

2. Girls there are still traditional(call it lame if you want), and still think like your granny when it comes to sex.

3. So guys in my city(age group 18 to 25) came to your cities and screwed your lasses

I’m sure that sums it up.They banged girls in Bangalore, bombed with girls in Bombay, and made Delhi a dalal(brothel).Yeah I know it all seems far fetched but it feels good to think of it this way If anyone has a different explanation for this phenomenon, he can go:

1. Jump in a well.

OR

2. Get run over by a truck which says “OK…TATA…HORN PLEASE”

*TOIlet paper: Also goes by the name, “The times of India”

Update: Buggery is not one of the reasons why the guys lost their virginity

Captain of Kollywood

“Earth!”

“Fire!”

“Wind!”

“Water!”

“Tamizh!”

“When your powers combine, I am captain Planet Vijaykanth! AOOON!”

Captain constipated

-Interlude.

In flies a ponderous man wearing a snow white veshti and a casatta coloured shirt.

“Go Captain!”

Captain: Tamizhla ennaku pudikatha ore vartha, mannippu.AOOON!

Audience in theatre:(scratching head) Now why did he say that?

A score of hapless men standing in a quiet corner get pulled into centrescreen.

Next comes a  fight sequence involving one man beating up half of China, somersaulting wearing a Veshti.

After post production editing, he bicycle kicks like Jackie, spins and kick with the grace of a ballet dancer, even though in real life he can’t lift his leg above knee height.

Excerpt from actual interview:

Journo: Captain, how is it that you continue to act in action movies at this age?

Captain:I try my best to keep fit through exercise. That is how I’m able to perform my own stunts.

Journo was admitted in Ramachandra medical college hospital. He gave up his career after this incident.He now owns a book binding shop in Vadapalani and lives a simple life with his wife and 2 children.

These are some of the reasons why I love our captain.Ajith-Vijay wars go on, but no one dares insult the DMDK president. The reason for this is:

In every movie, the hero goes after the dame.

In our leader’s movies, the girl not only comes after him, but begs him to marry her, else she’ll commit suicide.

Now who can even think of tarnishing the image of such a noble man?

Below are some of his evergreen videos.

Devi Shetty, you have competition!

Join Veta spoken English classes. If we could train Captain, we can train you too!

When Colt meets Captain, the winner is…

I even voted for him in the last election, thinking he’d give up acting if he became an MLA, but he continued to do so. Now the public of Tamil Nadu is in a very pitiable state.So much so that many of them migrated to Sri Lanka.

After all, arasiyalukku oru fire venum.namma thalaivarukku panchaboothamum irukku.

The IT bubble bursts

It just had to happen some time didn’t it…sooner or later. Well, it happened sooner than I thought it would (before I sit for my campus placement that is )Yes, I would very much prefer a core job but think about it…not everyone is assured a job in a core company. You need to pass written exams and get through multiple interviews, and oh, have something like a 9 point GPA. For most college students, the only thing which is likely to touch 9 is their blood alcohol level during weekends , and that’s not gonna get them a job in a brewery let alone a core company.

I might be wrong about the exact statistics in this particular piece of information, but this year, IBM recruited 106 students from a particular city, and a couple of months after being handed the offer letter, they were called for yet another set of interviews, where 60 were eliminated and only 46 survived with job in hand! Now that really sucks for those poor guys. And from my college placement list, the number getting placed in MCRs (Mass Recruiting Companies) has come down visibly, and I’m told the case is the same everywhere. Anna university vice chancellor actually advised students at the time of counseling not to take computer science this year because the sector seems unstable.

I was at the RTO waiting for my driving license last month, and a pleasant man next to me who introduced himself as an income tax advisor got chatty with me. We exchanged pleasantries and when he learned I’m an engineering student (sigh…isn’t everyone these days?), he clicked his tongue in a sympathetic manner and said something which sounded like this.”Last year, numerous students who received jobs in a major company (read IT), were given a joining date which was sometime in August 2007. A couple of months later, they received another letter from the company which said their joining date has been postponed to January 2008! Come January, and another letter makes its way home saying their date has been further postponed and they will be intimated about the same when the company sees fit. So obviously, many of these boys have either found other jobs in the past year, or they’re sitting through every course offered by NIIT, or worse still, they’re rotting at home in the hope that they will be called by the company soon.”

I don’t know how much of his story is true but he seemed to know his stuff and looked respectable enough.

We’re not yet there but I guess we’re all soon going to say “Gone are the days when you can bank on SWITCH (Satyam, Wipro, Infosys, TCS, CTS, HCL) to give you a job when you pass out”.

But wait, seems there’s a good side to this story too. Core companies have started increasing their intake (or so I heard).It might not be proportional to IT but its something to hope for right? And I’m not talking through my hat either…it seems true.90 guys out of 150 from my branch (mech) in final year in coll have been placed in core so far, the remaining either have software jobs or are not planning to sit for placements, or are not eligible for placement as they don’t have the minimum 6.0 GPA required for placement application, and companies are still coming.

So now you might ask yourself, why is this guy bummed out about it then? Ill tell you why. New rule enforced here cos of the sudden reduction I the number of jobs. Only 1 job allowed per head! That’s right, you get placed in one company, even if that company is a dhaba on the roadside, you’re done. It might not sound like a very bad thing but it can seriously screw your life up. Because earlier, when you were allowed 2 jobs, you could get placed in an MCR and at least ease the tension a bit, cos you have something in hand. And after, you can sit through core and hope for something good.

The crux of the problem lies in the time of arrival of the companies. Software comes towards the wee end of your 6^th sem, whereas core arrives in the beginning of your 7^th.Get the picture?

Hypothetical situation: Mr. X is a student of, say chemical engineering, in his 6^th semester. He really loves his branch and wouldn’t dream of working in any other line. His grades aren’t that great but he has hopes of getting into core. SWITCH and others comes and recruit, X leaves all of it cos he doesn’t wanna get stuck with them without an option. He goes home, chills during his vacation, gets bored like he always does, and comes back for his last stretch in coll. Cometh the ppl he has been so eagerly waiting for. He applies for the biggest of them, doesn’t get in, no problem he applies for the smaller ones too with less attractive packages. Bad news, he doesn’t make it through any of them, he’s now extremely low on confidence, has to face his parents who shelled out for his not so cheap college education.And to add insult to injury, his classmates with grades lower than his own probably have a job in hand.Nice soup hes in

Whatever it is, the road ahead seems dark for students of CSc and IT. We can only but hope that the situation improves before our time comes, so keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best,or SWITCH to a line which holds better prospects.

P.S: Comments welcome. Please give me your opinions, more info, and point out factual errors, if any, in my post.