Wall post

My campus has this roundabout turning with the usual circular thing in the middle and a flagpost at its centre. It’s the most favoured hangout in our side of Manipal and goes by the name “Kamath Circle” or “KC”.It is around this place that loser guys show off to stupid girls,jocks play basketball,dudes hang with their chicks, dawgs pig out with their bitches…well you get the idea. Manipal has two types of places; circles, and points. Its like a weird obsession with geometry. The town is filled with places like Tiger circle(T.C),end point, peacock point, sutta point, rave point, RAPE point(I’m not kidding). The only place oddly juxtaposed with these is “KMC greens”. You life taking docs better change its name to make it sound more like something to do with math.

Nerd: Actually there is a Green’s theorem

• bottle breaks over his head*

In its old glory

Some history: Tiger circle is the centre of Manipal. The reason why it’s called so is because, fifty odd years back, when T.A Pai bought the place, there were more tigers here than humans. We don’t anymore, that’s why project tiger exists.

Recently(if you can count six months as recent), the brainy administration decided to build a wall coming from one side of this circle, going up to another parapet wall labeled “no squating“, where people do just that… squat. What surprised me the most about this is the speed with which they managed to put it up!

10 AM, I walked past the place, and there was no sign of any construction.

12 30 PM, lunch break, the wall stands there, fully constructed!

Now this wall became a huge nuisance, for now, autos couldn’t go around it, pedestrians had to walk all the way around it(or climb over it, for it’s three feet tall), and the “no bikes on campus” rule actually seemed to be working.

MIT, having its college spirit, wouldn’t stay quiet at this insult to the student populous. One fine night, a couple of hundred students rammed the wall with metal barricades and broke it to bits and pieces, screaming slogans which Bhagat Singh and other freedom fighters used during the freedom struggle.*rolls eyes*

But this did prove one thing, as a fellow blogger put it; “Singh is not King”

Singh is not king

The wall was back again the next day(pic will be put up soon), now painted red and having a granite paving over it so people could sit on it!I tell you these guys in the admin are shrewd, for now the same students who broke the wall were sitting on it with their “girls”, smoking, chilling with the guys. No wonder T.M.A Pai made this place what it is now!

I sometimes feel the Manipal University slogan has to be changed from “Inspired by life” to “Nice doing business with you”, because they do just that, but I digress.

Now the wall is THE place to hang, and students have been inspired by facebook and found new uses for it. Yes, you guessed it right, they write on it.

“Happy b’day mahima” it read one day.

“Happy birthday Rohan and Shanky ” it read another day.

I was even surprised when there were no “Happy Valentine’s day” greetings last month.

The director gave an interview to a student council a few weeks later, and when asked the purpose of the wall, he said:

“The wall was erected to keep the locals out of our campus. It was definitely not made to restrict our own students”

Now I ask you, How much good does a 3 foot wall do? They can walk around it! Just as we do!

Or wait, maybe the locals bodies are made up of different chemical constituents from our own. The wall has certain substances which attract them. They run towards it, and the moment they come close, they get “zapped”! Innovative guys, they better patent their  “localite-o-flash”.

Thank you all :)

I just saw the busiest day on my blog since day 1.It was an utter joke the past few months,getting an average of 2 views a day.64 views it received today(yesterday) which is 2 raised to the power 5(I’m getting better at math too ).I just hope this momentum stays, and do keep coming.

Any virgins around?

I’m tired of people from the rest of the country telling me “Chennai is a city where time has stopped”, or is the city which refuses to evolve. I know it myself, it’s a conservative city. It’s the only major city where you’ll find girls wearing “bindhi”(the red dot on the forehead) when dressed in jeans and tees. It’s also the only place where millionaires and beggars(ok slumdogs) dress alike(the beggar looks the same in all cities, so you know who the insult is aimed at). Here, people don’t earn money to spend, they earn it to save it for their daughter’s wedding, son’s education, and building a house. In the end, none of these events are fulfilled, and the dude passes away leaving his life savings of Rs.10,000 for his 5 children to share.

But something I heard recently made me start looking at my city from a new angle. Here’s why;

As any regular TOIlet* paper reader would know, every June, a sex survey is conducted by them mongrels in all the metros. My jaw dropped when I  heard the statistics, which I checked out but aren’t one hundred percent accurate as I’m rattling them off through memory. If any of these are wrong, please say so in the comments section and I definitely will not correct them

Detour: If anyone is interested in knowing why I hate TOIlet paper so much, they can read this

Survey conducted among males and females of the age group 18-25

City                 Male virgins (%)                             Female virgins(%)

Delhi                          17                                                  24

Bombay                    15                                                  25

Bangalore                28                                                 32

Chennai                 18                                                45

Jaw dropped yet? Yeah it did for me too. Where the hell are those guys in my city getting laid?! I thought I was one among many, but being part of that 18 is just plain insulting !

Anyway, the reason why I’m swallowing my pride and writing this is because I was wondering why there is such a disparity between the men and women in Chennai alone, when in all other places it more or less balances out. I’ll tell you why;

1. Guys there may act docile but they’re criminals underneath.

2. Girls there are still traditional(call it lame if you want), and still think like your granny when it comes to sex.

3. So guys in my city(age group 18 to 25) came to your cities and screwed your lasses

I’m sure that sums it up.They banged girls in Bangalore, bombed with girls in Bombay, and made Delhi a dalal(brothel).Yeah I know it all seems far fetched but it feels good to think of it this way If anyone has a different explanation for this phenomenon, he can go:

1. Jump in a well.

OR

2. Get run over by a truck which says “OK…TATA…HORN PLEASE”

*TOIlet paper: Also goes by the name, “The times of India”

Update: Buggery is not one of the reasons why the guys lost their virginity

Captain of Kollywood

“Earth!”

“Fire!”

“Wind!”

“Water!”

“Tamizh!”

“When your powers combine, I am captain Planet Vijaykanth! AOOON!”

Captain constipated

-Interlude.

In flies a ponderous man wearing a snow white veshti and a casatta coloured shirt.

“Go Captain!”

Captain: Tamizhla ennaku pudikatha ore vartha, mannippu.AOOON!

Audience in theatre:(scratching head) Now why did he say that?

A score of hapless men standing in a quiet corner get pulled into centrescreen.

Next comes a  fight sequence involving one man beating up half of China, somersaulting wearing a Veshti.

After post production editing, he bicycle kicks like Jackie, spins and kick with the grace of a ballet dancer, even though in real life he can’t lift his leg above knee height.

Excerpt from actual interview:

Journo: Captain, how is it that you continue to act in action movies at this age?

Captain:I try my best to keep fit through exercise. That is how I’m able to perform my own stunts.

Journo was admitted in Ramachandra medical college hospital. He gave up his career after this incident.He now owns a book binding shop in Vadapalani and lives a simple life with his wife and 2 children.

These are some of the reasons why I love our captain.Ajith-Vijay wars go on, but no one dares insult the DMDK president. The reason for this is:

In every movie, the hero goes after the dame.

In our leader’s movies, the girl not only comes after him, but begs him to marry her, else she’ll commit suicide.

Now who can even think of tarnishing the image of such a noble man?

Below are some of his evergreen videos.

Devi Shetty, you have competition!

Join Veta spoken English classes. If we could train Captain, we can train you too!

When Colt meets Captain, the winner is…

I even voted for him in the last election, thinking he’d give up acting if he became an MLA, but he continued to do so. Now the public of Tamil Nadu is in a very pitiable state.So much so that many of them migrated to Sri Lanka.

After all, arasiyalukku oru fire venum.namma thalaivarukku panchaboothamum irukku.

No one blogging :(

I’ve been blog surfing for the past week, and I haven’t found a single new post in any of my favourite blogs(atleast 8 of them), and I was wondering as to why the southern part of the eastern hemisphere has distanced itself from the blogosphere. Based on extensive research, I’ve come to the following conclusions through reasoning;

1. Most blogs I read are by people above age 25.

2. Most people in this age group have jobs.

3. Companies have their annual closing in the month of March.

4.This leads to employees drowning nose deep in work.

5.This leads to less time for blogging.

And all of this combined leads to bored blogger

April first will be like Christmas(or maybe Diwali ) to me in my present state of boredom.